


Make a Change

by DidelphisVirginiana



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Drunk Fox Mulder, Eventual Smut, F/M, Jealous Dana Scully, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Season 3, Sex, Smoking, Smut, motel sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:11:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DidelphisVirginiana/pseuds/DidelphisVirginiana
Summary: Indulging into their vices, some unspoken truths become uncovered between Scully and Mulder. But then there's the aftermath.(Set during Season 3, Post-Syzygy. Tags will be added as needed.)





	1. Ready to Suffer and Ready to Hope

Scully was on her third cigarette in a row. Each time she grabbed for the pack it was more impulse than a thought out action. Her throat was becoming coated in smoke from the Camels she had bought at the gas station down the street. Her room was fairly hazy at this point, and opening the window barely helped. The whole motel reeked of smoke anyways, so it’s not like she was hurting anyone. Regardless, she couldn’t stop.

 

As she took a long drag off the cigarette, she exhaled with a sigh. _Mulder._ He kept popping into her head. The past few cases has been stressful. Not in the way of dealing with dead bodies or any particular difficult situation, but because of her jealousy. First it was that damn entomologist Bambi, now again with that damn Detective White. Mulder was charming by nature, so of course these women were drawn to him, but with each case so close to another Scully couldn’t help but feel a wedge being driven between them. Nothing major that had caused her to fully give up on her work ethics, but enough to make her turn cold. Of course being the calm and cool part of the duo was her job, but being downright frigid just wasn’t in her personality at all. 

 

As she ashed the cigarette into the ceramic ash tray next to her bed, she wondered what had led her to be like this lately. Of course, the first explanation was jealousy. She was drastically different from all of these women in terms of both physical appearance and personality.

 

Had Mulder just gotten too much of her? 

 

Had she gotten to be overbearing? 

 

Then again, there was nothing really attaching her to him anyways besides the duty to debunk his research while working on cases at the same time. She took another drag. The pack was still leftover from their case with Detective White, where she walked in on her on top of her partner. _That night was great_ , she sarcastically thought to herself. Then before that she got covered in an explosion of manure while Bambi sat safely in a car, untouched, still perfect. That probably didn’t help the image of her in Mulder’s head. She took two showers in a row that night and still couldn’t get the smell of manure out of her nose.

 

She wanted to the partnership between them to be equal, and the rational part of her brain knew it was. But she could also tell that two years in she was starting to develop more intimate, non-work related feelings for him. The rational part of her brain also tried to stifle those feelings, bury them down deep. Forget about them, let them fester and probably develop into either a major emotional outburst that would happen at any given moment or a stomach ulcer. At this point, with her smoking habit becoming more prominent, her money was on stomach ulcer. Not that she really wanted that, but she would rather eat a cigarette than admit her feelings to him or anyone else for that matter. She could admit it to herself, but begrudgingly so. She figured at this point it was almost inevitable, and Scully was sure Mulder would have some psychological explanation for it should she ever tell him. 

 

What worried her the most is that it wasn’t just physical anymore. The physical attraction had been there since day one. Tall, dark, and handsome. At a biological level, it was completely natural for her to be attracted to him. Really the only thing going against him was the size of his nose, however she found that attractive as well in its own charming way. She couldn’t say much for herself though. In the face, she knew she was attractive. Not in a conceited way, but she believed genetics worked out for her in that way. The one thing counting against her was her height. She had one growth spurt and that was about it. _Bambi and Detective White were tall,_ she thought to herself with a sneer, putting her cigarette out while reaching for another one out of the pack. Really, they weren’t. They were about average height, but that meant tall to her. She laid the cigarette on the bedside table while getting up, deciding to strip her work clothes and instead change into a pair of cotton pajama shorts and a tank top. She would have to mask herself in perfume tomorrow morning to avoid any questions as to why she smelled like an ashtray. 

 

She padded into the bathroom to splash some water on her face, trying to relieve herself of her thoughts. It was almost one in the morning and she didn’t feel the slightest bit tired. Her mind couldn’t stop circling around Mulder, the women, the cases. It felt like a broken record at this point, and she had no idea how to stop it. The act of smoking at least gave her hands something to do, a millisecond of her focusing on reaching for the pack, grabbing the lighter, and taking the first, long drag. Scully took a look at her reflection, staring back. She didn’t know how to process all of this. 

 

Everything in her head had been haywire since those damn roaches. She couldn’t count the number of times she stormed out of Mulder’s office (which she still didn’t have a desk for) just because of some sly comment or light flirtation. Really she should feel flattered, especially since her ego had taken a bruising, but as soon as something even remotely irritable came up it was time to take another one out of the pack. 

 

As she sat back down on the edge of the bed and lit the cigarette, Scully thought back on the day. Middle of nowhere South Carolina. Reports of mutilated cows. Mutilated past the point of recognition, causing Mulder to believe there was something paranormal behind it. He proposed werewolves. Then she noticed they were all missing their hearts and eyes. Okay, he then decided on Satanic cult. She audibly groaned at that one, just having dealt with a whole town hysteria triggered by the idea of a Satanic cult. Scully then repeated to Mulder the phenomena of pseudo-cults in towns all across the country that led to this type of hysteria, causing him to roll his eyes at her and then disregard her completely. That’s what set her off tonight.

 

She followed along with him for the remainder of the day, but they called it off early because the local sheriffs and detectives had to investigate a domestic abuse incident. They returned to their motel, filling the ride with rather pointless small talk and small discussion about the case. Mulder offered to buy dinner for the night. Scully had declined, deciding she wanted to be away from him as soon as possible before her emotions came spilling out of her. She didn’t want to lose control. That was the last thing she wanted. 

 

She scooted herself back and laid down on the bed, now relaxing her body, taking another drag off her cigarette before she heard a knock at the door. She sighed out an exhale of smoke, resting the cigarette on the edge of the ash tray before getting up to open the door. She already knew who it was.

 

It was Mulder. An inebriated Mulder. A very drunk, sloppy looking, disheveled Fox Mulder. She swallowed at this, her brain trying to catch up to her eyes. He was leaning into the doorway, clearly unable to stand up straight, giving her a smug smile. 

 

“Looks like we’re not the only ones indulging tonight.” His speech was slurred, but still recognizable for the most part. She poked her head out into the hallway by looking under his arm, not really sure what she was looking for at this hour. She sighed.

 

“Come in.” She pursed her lips, placing her hand on his shoulder trying to keep him steady. She looked down, noticing the handle of vodka in his hand. By the looks of it, he had mixed some sort of fruit concentrate in it. She rolled her eyes. 

 

“Can’t drink it straight, Mulder?” She scoffed, mentally slapping herself. That’s not who she wanted to be right now. 

 

He groaned as he laid back on her bed, his legs dangling off the edges, placing the capped bottle beside him. “No, it’s just how I used to drink it in high school. Kind of got used to it.” She sat next to him, upright, looking down on him. His eyes were lazy and glossy. He was in a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt, although she noticed the shirt was inside out. And backwards. 

 

“Any reason you came into my room at this hour?” Scully asked curiously, genuinely wondering what fueled him to knock on her door this time of night and not immediately exclaiming an emergency. 

 

He shrugged in response. “Got lonely, uh’guess.” He looked at her, and her heart melted when she looked back to see those puppy dog eyes. She couldn’t conclude whether it was for show or if that was just his stagnant drunk face. 

 

She scooted up on the bed, now sitting cross legged and facing him. She reached over to grab her cigarette, not wanting it to burn out on her before she fully got to enjoy it. Although, at this point the enjoyment of the ritual was long gone. The nicotine buzz wore off halfway through her last pack. 

 

“Okay then, talk to me, Mulder. Don’t just complain then pass out on my bed.”

 

He turned on his side, facing her now, furrowing his brow. “Why’re you smoking, Scully? Y-You’re a doctor, that’s not good for you. You know that.” 

 

She exhaled some smoke, pinching the brow of her nose. “Because I’m stressed, Mulder, that’s why. A few cigarettes won’t kill me on the spot. Plus, no hangover tomorrow morning.” She shot him a look, glancing at the bottle. Her eyes kept going between the bottle in his hand and his face.

 

He lazily rolled at his eyes at this. “You don’t think I’m stressed too? You haven’t exactly been the easiest to work with, y’know. N-Not only— Not only that, we have another case that you aren’t cooperating with me on!” Scully opened her mouth to interject, but Mulder continued to ramble, “I put my life into this work, and to have it debunked at every turn is really fucking hard, y’know. I value you, I value your opinion, but I just feel like you’re being unreasonable lately and all I can think of is that y-you’re jealous of the women.”

 

Her mouth twitched. “What women?” She decided to play stupid.

 

Mulder groaned loudly at this, running his hands over his face. “You know! Bambi and Detective White! I mean, Jesus Dana, your practically wear your heart on your sleeve when there’s another woman around.”

 

She scoffed at him, struck into total disbelief. “Excuse me?” She scoffed again, this time at herself, mad that she couldn’t come up with a better comeback. At this, Mulder placed a hand on her knee, looking up at her with what seemed to be like pure wonder. 

 

“You don’t know how flattering it is to see you get like that. You don’t know what it does to me.” He hiccuped at the end of his sentence. She slapped his hand away from her knee, making him wince.

 

“I’ll have you know I don’t fucking stick around to inflate your ego, Fox Mulder. I was assigned to work with you, and if my emotions are going to cloud your work I’ll tell Skinner to place me somewhere else.” Her voice was dripping with venom now. She didn’t appreciate being called out by some drunk on her bed. 

 

He looked at her, his expression totally blank. “I didn’t mean it like that,” another hiccup “I just…I mean…fuck, I’m drunk, I shouldn’t be telling you this. I shouldn’t have come here, but I haven’t had the balls to do it until now. Dana Scully, when I say that it means a lot to me…I mean it’s nice to know you care too. That we really, truly care about each other. I-I mean, for chrissake, I couldn’t sleep for weeks when you were gone. I couldn’t eat, I could barely function as a human being. Seeing you in that hospital bed wrecked me, now to have you back means the world and more to me.” He groaned, “One second. I’m gonna need more alcohol for this.”

 

Scully took another slow puff of her cigarette as she watched him like a hawk, unscrewing the lid and taking two large gulps from the handle, wincing. He hated drinking, but something drove him to this. The upsetting part is that she couldn’t tell what it was besides “stress”. He sat up now, sitting cross legged and facing her. She tried to keep her face as cool as possible, deciding silence was her best friend right now. 

 

He took her hands into his own, sending a shiver down her spine. She made full eye contact with him now, her eyes boring into his. He took a long breath before speaking, “Having you back since then has made me realize so much…more than I’ve been afraid to say. I know losing your sister was horrible, and I’ve been putting it off saying anything. I didn’t want to make matters worse. But being totally transparent, and totally wasted here, I don’t know how much longer I can hide my feelings for you, Dana. They’ve been there since day one. That moment you walked into my office it was like my heart stopped for a second. I can flirt with anyone, but something about you makes me think you deserve better than that. You deserve more than what I can give you, and it wrecks me. It wrecks me because I want you more than jus-just a partner but…” he paused for what seemed like hours, “Never mind, I’ve gone too far. I can tell.” He ran his hands down his face, now looking at the ceiling in silence. 

 

Scully was stunned, her eyebrows raised. It was almost everything she wanted to hear, but why now? Why like this? 

 

“Mulder, I’m listening. I…just think that maybe tonight isn’t the time for this.” She took a sharp inhale, deciding that if she were going to be open as he was, she wanted him to be sober to hear it, “I know you won’t remember this but I just want to say I feel the same way. That’s why I’ve been acting out. And you deserve to know that.” She pursed her lips, looking down as he looked at her. 

 

“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you, Scully.” It was a statement, not an inquiry.

 

Her face grew hot, but she bit her tongue before she could snap back with anything too malicious. “Mulder, I have no reason on this world to lie to you. But if I’m going to pour my heart out to you, do me a favor and sober up first. I want this to be real if it really is.”

 

He nodded at her silently, looking at her with those damn eyes as he smiled, slowly pulling himself off of her bed. He extended a hand to her, and she shot him a confused look before buffing out her cigarette and taking it. She was immediately yanked off the bed and pulled into a hug. Mulder nestled his face into the crook of her neck, breathing onto the sensitive skin, holding her with a vice grip. In a feeble effort to return the affection, she wrapped her arms around his torso, taking in the smell of his hair which smelled unwashed and musky. She would be lying if she didn’t say it was kind of turning her on. 

 

He was the first one to break the embrace, and now he was looking at her with huge, dilated pupils. “I could hold you more, but we’d be here all night. Plus, I’m getting tired, and I need to mentally prepare for the shameful hangover that awaits me tomorrow morning.”

 

She laughed at this, smiling for the first time during their conversation. “I promise you, you won’t remember this. If you do, that’s another conversation. But tonight, I just want you to go back to your room and get into bed.” She cupped his cheek gently, “Please, for me.”

 

He sighed in defeat at this. “Can I ask something?”

 

She nodded at him, biting her lip.

 

“Can I at least get a goodnight kiss? Even if it’s on the cheek.” 

 

_They don’t call it liquid courage for nothing,_ Scully thought to herself. 

 

She smiled at him again, and lowly leaned it, letting their noses brush against each other for a millisecond before gently pressing her lips to his. No surprise to her, he leaned in more, opening his mouth and letting his tongue slide between their lips. She slowly let her lips fall open, holding her breath more for the fact that he tasted like cheap paint thinner and oranges. But her body still reacted. Every inch of skin on her body grew hot, and her mind started to race.

 

_No._

 

This time she was the one to break it early. She pulled away gently, looking at him. She didn’t say anything, but she was taking charge of the decisions being made tonight. The only thing in her system was nicotine, tar, and countless carcinogens but she could still think straight. Mulder, on the other hand, was just plain smashed. 

 

She sighed, cupping his face as he looked her with this smitten, dopey grin. “Y’don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of’at.” He was slurring profusely now, making her roll her eyes. She leaned onto her toes to kiss his forehead, stretching her legs as far as they could go. 

 

“Get some rest, Mulder. I’ll see you in the morning.” She decided to keep the topic of tomorrow morning as ambiguous as possible. Scully decided that, on the off-chance he somehow did remember all of this, at least she ended it as neutrally as she possibly could. Sans the kissing.

 

He chuckled once at this, pulling away from her, brushing her hair back with one hand. “G’night, Scully.” He said as he opened the door, stumbling as he walked out then half-closing it behind him. 

 

She huffed, going to the door and closing it fully now, locking it. She tugged on the handle a few times to really make sure. Not that she was in any danger, she just wanted to have the extra security for privacy. 

 

She walked back over to the bed, throwing her body on top of the lumpy mattress. She stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the aching between her thighs. That kiss had sent pure electricity through her body, and now she had to deal with the consequences. 

 

She sighed in defeat, pushing her shorts down and kicking them off, followed by her underwear. She began to rub slow circles around her clit at first, exhaling in relief at her own touch. It was throbbing at this point, and she laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes.

 

_Immediately she saw Mulder and those damn puppy-dog eyes. She saw him looking up at her while he was sucking carefully on her clit, curling two fingers inside of her, painfully, slowly. She saw him smile in between her legs, a mischievous grin._

 

She began to rub harder now, slowly inserting one finger into her opening which was hot and slick by now. 

 

_He was now over her, fucking her to the point where it was almost painful; he was totally ruthless with her._

 

She let out a moan at this, rubbing herself almost violently now. She could feel her face getting hot and sweaty as she tossed her to head to one side, her body contracting itself. Her face scrunched up as she let out a loud, rather pornographic moan, her toes curling. 

 

_He was brushing her hair back now, kissing her all over her face._

 

She let out a few heavy pants before opening her eyes. She blinked once, slowly closing her parted lips. She stared off into the smoke-stained wallpaper. It was just a fantasy. It was just another night of going to bed alone despite him being right down the hall. Tonight could’ve been different, but this was for the best she thought to herself. 

 

Scully slowly got up, glancing at the wet spot on the comforter before going into the bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth, go through her regular nightly routine. She stared again at her reflection. Her face was flushed and her eyes were hazy, but she felt empty. Then again, this was how almost every night ended. Pleasuring herself was purely physical, attending to herself like a nurse did a sick patient. But afterwards she couldn’t help but feel cold and alone. Two years of this and she thought she would’ve gotten used to it by now. But she hadn’t. And that was okay tonight. She’s the one who made the decision after all.

 

She grabbed her shorts off of the floor and slid them back on, then slowly slid under the covers, curling herself around one of the extra pillows. She stared again at the wall, unable to even blink. She didn’t remember falling asleep.   



	2. Too Alone to be Proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Scully keeps pushing everything back.

Scully was standing outside of the front of the motel, still in her pajamas but now with a hoodie. The sun had just begun to rise over the horizon. She chose the hoodie to avoid putting on a bra first thing in the morning, and because it was fairly comfortable. She picked out the cigarette from behind her ear and grabbed the lighter out of her pocket, lighting it up, taking a short but strong first drag. Her throat felt coated in mucus and was sore from the stint of chain-smoking from last night. But still, she smoked because it gave her some type of relief. After a night like last night, she needed something. As much as she didn’t want to, she decided to mentally comb over what had happened last night now that she had gotten some sleep.

 

First and foremost was the kiss. What mostly stunned her was the lack of relief, passion, lust, whatever you wanna call it she felt when she kissed Mulder. It was sloppy and tasted disgusting. He had no tact. She figured this had everything to do with the alcohol in his system. At least that’s what she wanted to believe. She made a face recalling the smell and the taste. She thought she had left drunk make out sessions in college, but here she was, an FBI agent crossing too many boundaries and breaking too many rules. Yet another thing to mentally flay herself over. She took another, longer drag this time, exhaling as she leaned against a fence that guarded a small garden. 

 

Next was the confession Mulder gave her. He wasn’t exactly forward with it, but he told her enough. She got the idea. He found her attractive in just the same way she found him. Just he was able to vocalize it. Although, he was only able to do so with the help of vodka and fruit concentrate. She began to second guess him now, wondering if he really, _really_ meant what he said or if it was just the ramblings of a drunk man. Scully hoped that he was telling the truth, but lately she had been filled with self doubt. Self doubt and jealousy made up most of her character lately since the case with Detective White. 

 

She was staring down at the concrete for awhile. Scully kept replaying minor moments from last night in her head, wondering if things had been different should she have done this or that. If she had refused the kiss, if she had not let him in, if she took the time to also spill her heart out. Maybe she could’ve shared a bed with Mulder. Then again, she thought, that would be taking advantage of him. If she was drunk as well, there wouldn’t have been much else left to defend, but she was sober and she made the rational, safe decision to send him back to his room. He looked at her as if she kicked a dog on his way out. In a way, she was just kicking him out for her own sake. Making him leave so she could further stew on her feelings for him. 

 

_Dear God,_ she thought to herself, _Please don’t let him remember anything from last night._

 

And as if God were trying to fuck with her, out came Mulder in a full running getup. He had a sweatband around his forehead, a cut-off t-shirt, and some loose running shorts. He smiled gently at her as he approached her. She stood still like a statue, looking back at him, trying to “not wear her heart on her sleeve” as he put it last night. 

 

“Uh, hey there, Scully. Still on the cancer sticks, huh?”

 

She cocked an eyebrow at him, doing a small French inhale to further exaggerate the act. She blew the smoke out of her nose, running her tongue across her teeth, “I think it’s still early enough where I could quit if I wanted to, you know?” She looked at him, tilting her head slightly, “How do you feel?”

 

He chuckled at this, placing his hands on his hips, looking down at the ground. “I won’t lie, my head is throbbing, and I will probably puke sometime during my run. But I’ve found it’s the best way to get rid of a hangover, at least in my case.” He was looking back up at her now, squinting a little as the sunshine grew more prominent. 

 

She pursed her lips at this, flicking the ash of her cigarette onto the ground. “I’ve got Tylenol in my bag if you need it. I will say though, you probably need something in your stomach first. If the bottle you brought into my room last night was any indication, you had a lot in you. For someone who barely drinks, your whole body probably hates you right now.” She took the cigarette into her lips now, using her free hands to tie her hair back into a messy ponytail. 

 

Mulder chuckled at this, leaning against the gate now. “Are those doctor’s orders, or are you just giving me a friendly suggestion?” He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

 

“This time I’ll let it pass as a friendly suggestion. But keep your phone on you. I’ll come pick you up if you pass out, but if you puke in the car that’s your problem when we get back to Washington.” 

 

He nodded at this, keeping his eyes on her. “Okay, deal.” He started to stretch his legs slowly now, diverting his gaze, “By the way, Scully, could you catch me up on what happened last night sometime? All I remember is…uhm, well I came into your room and I probably crossed some kind of boundary, but I was too drunk to remember. Everything’s pretty hazy.”

 

She sighed at this, leaning her head back. What a sick joke. He doesn’t remember spilling his heart out, let alone remember sloppily making out with her. She couldn’t just say the kiss was the only thing that happened, because that left no context. Saying he just spilled his heart out to her then kicked him out would also be embarrassing for him. She would have to verbally relive last night for his sake. And she was going to do it, because he asked, and right now she couldn’t say no.

 

“Yeah, yeah I can when you get back. Go for your run and we can talk over breakfast. Don’t take too long, we have a case to work on.” Short and simple. She snuffed out her cigarette and flicked it out into the parking lot. She began to walk inside then she felt a hand grab her shoulder. She turned around quickly, jumping at the touch. It was Mulder, looking at her with groggy eyes. 

 

“Scully, if I said anything stupid or out of line…I want you to tell me. So I can apologize.”

 

She bit her lips now, looking at him. “Like I said, we can talk later. But you don’t really have anything to apologize for, at least not from my point of view.” This made him sigh in relief, nodding at her before pulling away and jogging in the opposite direction and down the road. She watched him for a second, unable to peel her eyes away. Even though the shorts were loose, she could still clearly see tow tight, muscular ass cheeks. The man never skipped leg day, after all. She shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts as she went inside.

 

Scully unlocked the door to her room, making a face at the stench of smoke that permeated it. She stripped herself of her hoodie, then her clothes, and stepped into the bathroom. She undid her hair and leaned into the shower to turn the water on, making sure to get it extra hot. 

 

She stepped in, sighing at the relief it brought to her muscles. The stress of the past few weeks had caused her body to grow tight and sore, and showers were one of the few reliefs she got from the pain. She grabbed the complimentary body wash and a wash cloth, slowly starting to clean off her body, she closed her eyes, letting her hands go on autopilot. 

 

How could she explain last night? Should she leave details out or should she be completely honest with him, for his sake? Maybe she could come up with something on the spot that would at least put his mind at ease and they could both go on as if nothing happened. She groaned audibly at herself. She would only be hurting herself and their relationship if she did anything but tell the truth. Once again, her morals overruled the need to protect herself. She began to wash her hair now, kneading the shampoo and conditioner through her locks slowly. She was going to tell him the truth. Everything. Not only did she feel obligated to do so, she felt that it was finally an opportunity to express her own feelings. Maybe. She didn’t know if she was ready to do the last part yet. Again, she would rather physically eat a cigarette before doing that. But he had already admitted his own feelings, so it sounded sick to keep everything to herself. 

 

She turned around, totally rinsing her body off now, sighing. She didn’t want this to happen, she just wanted to chain-smoke herself into the night and let all of this be brushed under the rug. But they were both past that point. Now it was time to move forward, make the change that was two years in the making. 

 

Scully grabbed for the towel hanging on the hook by the shower, drying herself off quickly. Mulder would be back soon, and they had to eat then immediately get started on the case. She didn’t have much time to get ready. 

 

 

* * *

 

  


Scully followed Mulder into the small diner they found just a black away from the motel. It was walking distance, just enough for her to make it in her heels without complaining. She had her hair in it’s natural state, a little bit of makeup, and a Burgundy pantsuit. She looked normal. Just another day on the case. Looking as if nothing had transpired the night before. They sat down at a two person table, and were each given menus. She glanced over it for a second, before laying her elbows on the table and looking across at Mulder. “How was your run?” Start things off slow. Don’t jump right into things.

 

He looked up from the menu, his eyes scanning her face. “It was fine. Excuse the word choice, but it jogged up my memory of last night. But there’s still pieces I need you to fill in for me.” He raised his eyebrows at her expectantly, and she sighed at this. The waitress put down two coffees on their table, “I’ll give you two a lil’ more time to look over our menu here.” She had one of those thick, drawling southern accents that seemed to only exist in movies or in the boonies. They just so happened to be in the latter. Scully nodded at her with a smile before going back to Mulder, her face going neutral again.

 

“Alright then, what do you remember?”

 

This made him literally scratch his head, biting his cheek. “Well, I remember walking down to your room with a bottle. I thought maybe you would want to drink with me, but I could tell you were pissed off for some reason.” He paused to now look up at her, “Then I remember calling you out for being jealous over something, you yelling back at me, then I think I went into some love confession. Then we kissed. I imagine it was much more enjoyable for me than you.”

 

A chill went down her back at that word. _Love._ She took a sharp inhale, not taking her eyes off of him. She swallowed before speaking, “You…didn’t say that word.”

 

He cocked an eyebrow at her, confused, “What word?”

 

“You know…love. You didn’t say you loved me. But you might as well have, because you wouldn’t shut up.” She chuckled at this, trying to lighten the mood. She dumped a bit of sugar into her coffee, stirring it in with her spoon. 

 

He sighed as she continued to absentmindedly stir, “Well…it only took the majority of that bottle for me to finally say, but I guess it’s out there now.” He leaned in slowly, catching her gaze, “I meant it too. I just wish I could remember what you said, because I know you said something.”

 

Her jaw clenched at this, she had stopped stirring. “I said we were going to have that conversation at another time.” 

 

“Now’s another time. I’m sober now, Scully. And I want to put the missing pieces together.”

 

She exhaled in relief as the waitress came by to take their order. She didn’t pay attention to Mulder as he spoke to her, instead focusing on the foot of a chair across the dining room. When the waitress turned to Scully, she spoke without looking up. “I’ll have the three egg breakfast. Wheat toast, please.” The waitress nodded, writing the order down quickly before walking off.

 

She looked back up at Mulder now, taking a deep breath, “I don’t think we should be discussing this right before we go into work mode. It could make things complicated.” She immediately sheathed herself in the most protective verbal armor she could manage. _Just keep putting it off,_ she assured herself.

 

Mulder nodded solemnly at this, not taking his eyes off of her. “You keep putting this off, but I’ll have you know I’m not letting this go,” _Of course you’re not, “_ We can talk tonight, then. This time I promise to be sober.” He licked his lips now, “No more delaying the conversation, okay?” He gave her a sly smile.

 

She stared into his eyes for a second before nodding. “Okay, deal. But if this gets in the way of our work, we’re leaving this case and the state behind.” Okay, take an aggressive stance. That will improve things. 

 

The waitress came by again and dropped off their food. They ate in silence in the beginning, Scully now on edge and merely just picking at her food. Mulder’s eyes were boring into her, she could feel it. She didn’t need to look up to know. She chewed on her tongue for a second before Mulder finally broke the silence,

 

“Did I fuck up last night really so bad you can’t eat?”

 

She shook her head with a sigh, putting the fork down, “No, no it wasn’t bad. It was just unexpected. And now I’m confused about where to go from here.” She looked up at him, sucking on her lips.

 

“Well…some things are going to change, for sure. Especially since I so gracefully put everything out there and spoke it into existence,” He paused, blinking at her, “Now you just have to do the same. And please, don’t worry about hurting my feelings.” He gave her a soft smile at this, returning to his food. 

 

She took a small bite of her toast, chewing it slowly. She was cornered now. And it was all Mulder’s fault. He decided to go all hopeless romantic while blacked out and now she had to set things straight; clean up his mess. She just didn’t want to. She just wanted to continue as if nothing had ever happened. But after everything Mulder had done for her, she could at least give something in return. Maybe she could rehearse a sort of script to tell him tonight? Pace around the room to calm her nerves and then just tell him a sort of half-confession. She didn’t have to tell him everything. No. Some things she could keep to herself. Some things to avoid rocking the boat any further. Of course she was attracted to him in every way possible, but admitting everything could also be risking it all. They could be assigned to new cases, for one. It would make cases harder to solve if they were constantly on top of each other. There was a long list of reprimands that could come from pouring her heart out, but still. It still seemed like the right thing to do. A part of her hoped something will come out of it, that they could have an undercover romance, that they would have more, much higher quality make out sessions. The other part of her just wanted to get it out and then lock it away completely, never to be talked about again. Both options seemed equally possible at this point. 

 

They finished their food and paid for their bill. Well, Mulder paid for the bill. He insisted, and she was tired of arguing, tired of talking, and she just wanted to go outside and enjoy her damn cigarette. She quickly threw her blazer over her and began to walk outside, suddenly feeling Mulder trail close behind her. Very close. She held her breath, pushing the door open and headed back to the motel where the car awaited. They had another meeting with the sheriff as yet another cow had turned up mutilated by what they assumed to be the same cause as all of the other cows. Something something Satanic cult.

 

She felt the hand from earlier grab her by the shoulder, now spinning her around forcefully. Mulder had a rather pensive expression on his face.

 

“Look, I know you just said we’d talk about it tonight but…I want you to know I won’t be mad or upset if you tell me you don’t share the same feelings. Not only is that not professional, it’s not mature of me to hold anything like that against you.” He paused, “Although, depending on your answer, I might be more hurt than when you shot me. Not to be dramatic, but you know how I feel about you now.”

 

She forced a smile at this. Then she sighed. “Look, Mulder, it’s not that I don’t reciprocate your feelings, I just…” she trailed off, at a loss for words now. She could take a million different directions, but she just stood still, staring at his chest.

 

He grabbed both of her shoulders now, rubbing them softly, “Hey, don’t worry about it. We can go through today, then tonight you can chain-smoke while you admit your undying, unyielding love for me.” 

 

She couldn’t help but smirk at this, rolling her eyes before lightly punching him in the chest. “Actually, I hate your guts, and I was going to tell you I plan on burning your desk if you don’t get me my own by next week.”

 

Mulder sighed in faux relief, “Oh, Jesus, thank you Scully. If you were actually in love with me I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. It’d be the biggest X-File case ever, wondering how you could ever enjoy my presence.” 

 

She chuckled at this, trying to hide her nervousness, continuing to walk towards the car. Was it really that outlandish to him that she could possible be attracted to him as well? She shifted a bit under her blazer, her body growing hot now. She had to lay everything out on the table now, just that little bit of teasing made her realize she couldn’t continue on with this secret. It was actively eating her alive and she couldn’t bear it much longer. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was nearing 10 in the evening when they finally wrapped up. The case had ended up being even more bland than she had originally thought. It had turned out that the ten year-old son of one of the farmer’s had kept collecting the organs from the cows in order to dissect them. The mutilation part had been due to an ever-growing coyote population in the area, and the boy would just go out and collect the rest. His reasoning was that he wanted to be a veterinarian one day. Scully then had to explain to him that, once he got to high school, he could dissect as many animals he wanted in biology class. She was better with kids than Mulder, only finding this out through past cases. Although, internally, she believed he had the makings of a surgeon more than your standard daytime vet. 

 

They drove back to their motel in silence, both knowing what was coming next. The talk. She decided this was going to be just as uncomfortable as the one she had to have with her parents, although she would be doing the talking this time. She rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette, taking a long inhale. Mulder looked over at her.

 

“You know, you’re not supposed to smoke in these rental cars.” He said with a smile. Why was he smiling?

 

“Oh please, Mulder, this car already smelled like shit anyways. Plus, I have the window rolled down. They’ll be none the wiser.” She shrugged, exhaling the smoke out the window. 

 

They pulled into the motel parking lot all too soon, and she immediately got out of the car, looking at her partner. “Let me finish this and I’ll come in.” She said, walking back over to the fence.

 

Mulder followed her slowly, leaning against the railing while watching her. “I’ll wait.” This made her sigh, now making her puff faster on the cigarette. He never took his eyes off of her. She decided the best way to do this was to just get it over with. Speak it into existence, as Mulder put it. And hopefully, maybe put it behind them without any consequences. Or start something new. She couldn’t decide which she wanted more anymore.

 

She only made it halfway through the cigarette before buffing it out with her foot, kicking the butt away. Scully just wanted this to happen so she could stop being so damn anxious about it. She looked at him, her face cool as stone, “Meet me in my room in ten minutes. Then we can talk.” 

 

She began to walk inside, Mulder following her. She took a turn down the hallway, grabbing for the key in her pocket before he spoke up. 

 

“Scully, I feel tonight you’re going to shoot me again, but this time with words instead of a bureau issued weapon. Or,” he took a deep breath, “you’re going to make me a very happy man.”

 

She froze. She was staring at the door now. She swallowed hard before turning to him slowly. 

 

“Let’s just say I don’t plan on being a heartbreaker tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this was sort of a filler chapter. I wrote it awhile ago but am just now able to post it. It's not incredibly exciting, but I promise promise PROMISE you smut and fluff and all the good stuff are coming next chapter. As always, any feedback and whatnot is greatly appreciated. I will hopefully have the next chapter up in a more timely manner. I enjoy writing smut, and after this has been finished (which will probably be next chapter), I plan on doing some kinky one-shots. Thanks for reading!


	3. Boiling Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully and Mulder finally have the talk she's been dreading. This chapter is sexually explicit.

Scully had been sitting on the edge of the bed for what felt like hours now. Ten minutes. The air felt like it was growing thicker by the moment, and she was frozen in place, staring at the wall. She didn’t even know how to start this conversation her and Mulder would be having. She was terrified to say the least. She had to mentally shed the shell that her kept her protected for so long. She might as well have greeted him at the door naked when he came to really show how vulnerable she was feeling. She didn’t know why she was so afraid of talking to her partner, her friend, the man she had become infatuated with. Opening up and being emotionally vulnerable was not in her job description, so she left those traits long ago. However, now she had to bring them back and use them, and hopefully not ruin everything in the process. 

 

If anything, Mulder ruined this. He was the one who came into her room drunk as a skunk and spilled his heart out. And now here they are. She didn’t necessarily want this, but realized it needed to happen. Otherwise, the tension would only get worse.

 

And then there was the knock.

 

“Scully, it’s me.” Mulder’s voice came from the other side of the door. 

 

Maybe she was imagining things, but his voice sounded slightly apprehensive. She got up, still in her work clothes and opened up the door, forcing a tight-lipped smile as she let him in. He looked around a bit, and she scanned the room. There was no chair, so he sat on the bed. He looked up at her, eyebrows raised. She pursed her lips, sitting down next to him, just close enough to feel the heat coming off of his body.

 

She let out a long sigh, brushing her hair back with one hand before looking at him, “So where do we start?”

 

Mulder chuckled at this, “Well, I don’t really have much to say anymore, I just want to hear your side of things. It would be pretty redundant if I were to pour my heart out again, but maybe sober me will sound more coherent.”

 

She shook her head at this, “No, no, you’re right. It’s my turn.” She looked at him, then at his lips. This time they actually looked appetizing, like they were worth kissing this time. “So, I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?” She asked, her eyes returning to meet his. He nodded slowly, bending down a little to rest his head in his hands. He looked like a child ready for story time. This was probably the closest to a fairytale he was going to get out of her anyways.

 

She took a deep breath, biting her tongue a little before speaking “It started with Bambi — you know, the entomologist — then it was Detective White.” Those names alone left a sour taste in her mouth, “That’s when I realized I had been getting jealous. Not because you were just spending time with them, but also you were taking their word over mine. I felt that you began to value me less. Not just my opinions either, but as your partner.” She took a deep inhale through her nose, her voice growing shaky. _Don’t you dare start crying, Dana._

 

Mulder gave her a soft smile, “Scully, you know I lied to Bambi about being fascinated by bugs, right? I was just flirting for the fun of it, really,” Scully pursed her lips a little at this, trying to avoid her blood from reaching a boiling point, “As for Detective White, I was drunk and she threw herself on top of me. You were the only one I’ve told about how I feel about bugs, and I was mentally flaying myself for weeks after you walked in with that woman on top of me. Then again, I still stand by the explanation that it was the planets causing all of that.” He looked at the open pack of cigarettes on the bedside table, “Although, you haven’t quit smoking since that case, either.”

 

She rolled her eyes at this, “You know why I’ve been smoking, Mulder? It’s because I’ve realized that jealousy came from more than just a professional standpoint. It came from the fact that I finally admitted to myself I do have feelings for you.” She paused, looking him dead in the eyes now, “Romantic ones. More than just partners, even more than just friends. I find myself attracted to you in every possible way and it’s been driving me insane ever since. And that’s mostly why I’ve kept smoking; to try and calm myself. But yeah, sure, we can blame the planets for me picking them up in the first place.” She sighed, now burying her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe she had finally put it out there. Guess she wouldn’t have to eat that cigarette after all. When she finally got the courage to look back at him, he had this stupid, dopey grin on his face. Although, what really worried her was how blown out his pupils were. The room was fairly well lit, but he looked almost as if he were high.

 

“You know,” he started slowly, propping himself up on his elbows now, “I always had a feeling, but I just thought I was making it up to match up to my feelings for you. I’m…pretty happy to know that’s not the case.” He bit his lip, smiling at her. Yet she didn’t feel relief, she felt dissatisfied.

 

“That’s all you have to say? You don’t have any explanation or anything else to say about this?” Scully let out a long breath through her nose, “I find it hard to believe you’re attracted to me, Mulder. From what I can gather from the other women you’ve been drawn to, I’m not exactly your type.” She wanted more out of him, but she didn’t know what.

 

Mulder looked up at the ceiling now, sighing, “You know the whole notion of men having a type isn’t really as concrete as it sounds, right?” He looked at her now, biting his lip before speaking “I can be attracted to any woman just based on her physical appearance, but to really, truly have feelings for another woman…well, that takes time. At least for me, anyways.” He slowly, cautiously placed his hand on top of hers, his eyes boring into her face. She could feel a warm flush go across her cheeks. “I mean, at first sight I thought you were gorgeous but now…I mean, god Scully, you’re on a whole other level I’ve never experienced. I’ve never had someone like you in my life.” 

 

He was rubbing her hands softly now, looking her in the eyes with that same hungry look. She looked back at him, licking her lips before biting her bottom lip. She sighed before she spoke.

 

“This really changes things between us.” That was all her brain could think of. Every part of her mind had short circuited at this point, and feeling just that simple touch of his hands made her body grow warmer by the second.

 

He nodded slowly, tilting his head a little. “Now it’s just a question of what we’re going to do about it.” He scooted closer to her on the bed, now laying a hand on her shoulder, making her go stiff, “I propose we could re-do that kiss? Now that we’re both being open.”

 

Her face practically felt on fire now, and she forgot how to breathe for a second. This was real, this was happening, and every sign in her brain pointed to _yes._

 

She decided to speak with her actions rather than words, and slowly leaned in. He followed suit until their lips finally met. They were soft, just like before, and he was so gentle with her. She slowly opened her mouth, inviting his tongue in. He leaned his body into her more, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. She slowly, cautiously wrapped her arms around his shoulders, turning hey body so now her thighs were framing his lap. This kiss was much better than before, to say the very least. He moved down to now kiss her neck, going further and sucking on her collarbone. She let out a small sigh at this, and his hands began to trail down her back before resting on her hips. 

 

She ran a hand through his hair as he pulled away to kiss her lips again, this time more hungry than before. She met him with the same excitement, the same need. Her body was on fire now, and she could feel a heat growing in between her thighs. She pushed him back, now clumsily unbuttoning his shirt. She met his gaze with a playful look. He grinned back before suddenly pushing her onto her back, reversing their positions, now hovering over her with his forearms on each of her sides. He leaned down to kiss her softly for a second before biting her lip. The sensation made her yelp then moan in pleasure. He brushed her hair back with one hand, looking at her.

 

“I’ll let you know now, I’m a pretty possessive lover. Will that be a problem for us?”

 

Scully smiled at this, brushing her thumb along his jawline, “I think I’ve been the one who’s been possessive lately. Although, I can’t help but wonder if those other women would’ve gotten the same treatment I’m getting.”

 

He scoffed at this, “Scully, there’s a difference between having sex,” he leaned down, kissing her again, licking her lips slowly, “and making love.” He finished.

 

She looked at him for a second, silent. There it was again, that word. Love. Did she want to address it now? Before she got to her next thought, Mulder stripped himself of his shirt, looking down at her with a cocky grin.

 

“Very nice, but nothing I haven’t seen before.” She remarked coyly, giving him a smile.

 

He rolled his eyes, “I believe there’s something _I_ haven’t seen though.” He began to slowly unbutton her blouse, but she was impatient at this point. She basically tore the shirt off of her, sitting up a little, reaching behind her to undo her bra. Mulder looked down at her now with dark, hungry eyes. When she finally unclasped it, she threw it to the ground. His hands immediately cupped her breasts, his thumbs playing with her nipples. He let out a long sigh.

 

“You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about this.”

 

She snorted in laughter, laying back with a small moan at the sensation of his tongue now licking her right nipple, “My fantasies have probably been a bit similar, but they usually don’t take place in a motel in bumfuck nowhere.”

 

His hands grabbed at her skirt, tugging it down to her knees now, letting his forehead rest against hers. “I don’t think I can wait to do this in another setting. I’m a bit impatient.” To exaggerate this, he began to grind his rock hard cock against her thigh. She smiled impishly at this, beginning to undo his belt, ripping down the zipper to his trousers. He stood up off the bed for a second to drop his pants, then eventually his boxers, now just as naked as the day he was born. 

 

Her eyes scanned his body appreciatively, licking her lips. “Nice manscaping.” She quipped.

 

He laughed at this, looking down at his trimmed and tapered hair. “I’m glad it can finally be appreciated.”

 

She began to slowly remove her underwear before Mulder rushed at her, “No!” He exclaimed, making her jump, “I wanna do it.” His eyes met hers. There was that puppy dog look again. It was fascinating how he could change the look in his eyes in an instant. She shrugged, reclining back on the pillow now. He bit the top of her underwear with his teeth, slowly dragging them down with his mouth. The sight alone made her go bright red, and then that sensation in between her thighs began to throb. Hard. 

 

He dropped her panties to the ground, looking up at her now. “Natural redhead?”

 

She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Were you expecting something else?”

 

He shook his head, kneeling on the ground. “Not at all, just never something I’ve encountered first hand.” He began to hook his arms under the pits of her knees, now pulling her towards the edge of the bed. Without any warning, he dove practically first face into her pussy. His tongue was broad, leaving teasing and slow licks to the lips between her legs. She moaned loudly at this, sitting up now. She grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he began to flick his tongue against her clit, his fingers now sliding inside of her with ease. He grinned against her at this, looking up at her with a giddy expression. “Dana Scully, are you really this wet right now or am I just having the best dream ever?” 

 

She looked down at him, smirking “I’m happy to tell you this is no dr-“ She was cut off by his fingers stroking _right fucking there,_ making her practically scream. He didn’t need her to finish her sentence, as he went back to playing with her clit, swirling it around with her tongue. The stimulation of his mouth and his fingers easily pushed her over the edge, letting out a loud and guttural moan as his hand became coated in her juices. She didn’t realize she had closed her eyes until she opened them. Her vision was a bit blurred before she focused on Mulder, who had his cheek resting on her thigh, looking up at her with an innocent smile.

 

“Fuck you, Mulder. Get up here.” She was going to wipe that cocky smile off his face if it was the last thing she did. Now it was an oral sex competition, she decided. He obliged her and crawled onto the bed, laying on his back, his cock standing straight up. She began to crawl over him now, letting a drop of saliva drop onto the head of his cock which was already leaking precum. She then took her hand from the tip down to his base, making the first few strokes long and calculated. He was still smiling. _Damn him._ She looked him dead in the eyes as she swirled his head with his tongue, then slowly, very slowly taking him into her mouth. The head of his cock hit the back of her throat, making her spill saliva all over him. She didn’t break eye contact once, but he wasn’t smiling anymore. He let out a low groan, closing his eyes. 

 

She pulled back slowly, now using one hand to stroke him as she sucked him, her hand following then leading her mouth. Her tongue was licking every possibly inch, still drooling over him. Literally. His hips bucked under her as she took him into her mouth again, making him moan louder as he took a handful of hair into his fist. She moved down slowly, now wrapping her lips around one of his balls, sucking slowly, letting her tongue draw circles. Mulder was practically quaking under her, unable to let out a coherent sentence.

 

“Oh, oh go— Scully, oh fuck — Christ, oh, oh my god,” he let out breathlessly, he looked down at her, his face conveying a mix of wonder, love, confusion, and shock. He had no idea what to make of the sight in between his legs, and she was proud of it. 

 

She finally pulled off of him with an audible pop, her eyes focused on his face. He was sweating bullets now and his chest was heaving. 

 

“I don’t know how much longer I would’ve lasted.” He sighed out, totally out of breath. 

 

She began to crawl over him, smiling. She kissed him softly, letting his hands brush through her hair. His dick twitched, hitting her right below her belly button, making her chuckle. She could taste herself on his lips, which made her more aroused than she would’ve guessed.

 

“I guess we should get to the main event, huh?” She said coyly, brushing his sweaty hair back to get a better look at his face. She looked down at him with a smile, enamored with every feature of his that just seemed so perfectly carved out. And it was hers; hers for tonight, possibly hers for forever from the way they were talking earlier.

 

“Get on your back.” Mulder demanded, giving her ass a quick spank. She yelped at the sensation before rolling onto her back, laughing, now letting him lean over her. He leaned down to kiss her ravenously, shoving his tongue against hers as he nudged her legs apart with his knees. She ran her hands down his arms as he rested on his elbows, positioning his cock right in front of her swollen cunt.

 

He smirked a bit as he reached down, teasing his head between her lips, making her moan quietly. He slowly inched his hips forward, entering her slowly. She gasped at the sensation. She was literally being stretched out, and she had to bit her lip from yelping out a sound of both pain and pleasure. He kept sliding in until he was fully sheathed in her, then he stopped to look down at her, studying her face.

 

“Are you okay, Scully?”

 

She sighed, somewhat irritated by his casual professionalism, “Call me Dana if you’re going to be balls-deep inside of me.”

 

“Are you okay, Dana?” He corrected himself, arching his eyebrow.

 

She nodded, “I didn’t really take the size difference into consideration is all.”

 

He began to pull out slowly, only stopping halfway before kissing her cheek. “If it gets to be too much, just let me know.” He was so soft, so caring. She never really thought about how he, Fox Mulder, could be so sensual. And here she was, getting the full treatment. He slowly slid back inside of her, then in, out, in, out. His slow pace slowed her to adjust, and she let out a soft moan.

 

He leaned down to kiss her neck, now craned to one side to give him more room and he began to suck harshly on her soft flesh. She grabbed his shoulders, digging her fingernails into his skin as he began to thrust faster now. She wrapped her legs around his waist to adjust the angle a little bit, now holding onto him for dear life. She began to thrust back, trying to sync their motions together.

 

She looked up at him to see a familiar expression: complete concentration. He was really giving it all into this, and he didn’t want to mess up. She looked into his eyes, brushing his hair back with one hand before sitting up to kiss him on the lips; it was wet and sloppy and purely sensual. He began to slam into her more fervently now, thrusting faster than she could keep up with. She had to break her rhythm and the kiss and let out a half moan half scream as he hit just the right spot. He thrusted again, hitting her _right there_ full force and she threw her head back, letting out a breathy sigh as she came, again, all over him. Her eyes rolled back a little, her vision going blurry for a second. She hooked her fingers into his hair now, pressing their foreheads together. He was slick with sweat, and his pupils were huge as his eyes stared straight into hers. It was purely primal, yet she couldn’t help but feel the love radiating from him. His thrusts became more erratic now, and he was panting audibly.

 

“Scully, Dana, whatever, do you know how long I’ve wanted this?”

 

She shook her head, unable to form words, still coming down from her latest orgasm.

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but instead let out a loud groan, cumming halfway inside of her before suddenly pulling out, spilling the rest of his load onto her lower belly. 

 

Time stopped for a second. All they could do was look at each other in pure ecstasy, the intimacy of it making Scully swallow. 

 

He leaned in and pressed a tender, soft kiss to her lips, then to her cheek, forehead, neck (which was now sporting an angry bruise), then her lips again. She shyly returned the kiss back, looking at him with wet eyes. She didn’t know what was making her so emotional. She couldn’t remember the last time someone handled her, cared for her, made love to her like that — if ever. 

 

“Was I too rough?” He asked, noting the glossiness of her eyes.

 

“No,” her voice cracked, almost betraying her, “It was perfect, Mulder. Everything was. I just don’t know how to process all of this.” 

 

He leaned back, sitting on his legs now as his cock began to slowly soften.

 

“Never think about those women again, Scully. It’s you, and it’s always been you.” 

 

She gulped at this, now desperately trying to hold back her tears as she nodded. She couldn’t believe tonight, and definitely didn’t think it would transpire like it did. She just made love to her partner, Mulder, her friend, the man she’s worked alongside for years now. Just now they had finally made love after years of tension and a few weeks of jealousy thrown in. 

 

She sat up and leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder, taking a long breath. 

 

“You don’t regret it, do you?” Mulder asked hesitantly. 

 

She shook her head, placing a kiss into the crook of his neck, taking in his smell. 

 

“No, I just regret not telling how I felt about you sooner.”

 

He slowly, gently wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She felt his nose brush into her hair. They were entangled in each other now, and neither wanted to let go. Scully didn’t want this moment to end. But inevitably Mulder pulled away, looking at her with a loving, half-lidded stare. 

 

“I’ll get you a towel to clean yourself off. Do you need your classic after-sex cigarette?”, he smirked at her, “I don’t mind if you do. The smell isn’t as bad as everyone says it is.”

 

She gave him a bright smile, taken aback by his post-coital chivalry. Then she shook her head.

 

“No, I think I’m just going to throw the pack away.”

 

He kept his smile while he looked down at her before getting up and walking off into the bathroom. Her eyes trailed after him. She was finally able to admit to herself and her partner that she loved him. Not only that, but he loved her too. She lied on her back, staring at the ceiling. Maybe one day they would go on an official date, they would have drinks, they would go back to her place and make love again and wake up in each other’s arms. They would walk into the Hoover building and assume their professional roles. But tonight was enough for her. Tonight was more than enough; it was more than she could have ever hoped for. _Everything after tonight will follow how it’s supposed to_ , she thought to herself, _and he’ll be right there with me when it does._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on this chapter! I went through some personal stuff, and then school started. It's also by far the longest one (word count wise) out of the series, and I blame the sex for that one. I had a lot of fun writing from Scully's POV, and I hope it isn't too odd. I live for feedback, as I want to keep doing this and getting better. Eventually I'll branch out into other fandoms, but for right now I'm all about X-Files. I'm thinking about doing a High School AU (multi-chapter) and possibly a kinky one-shot (maybe two chapters) involving rope for my next ones. Let me know what you want to see next! Thank you everyone for your support thus far. If you want, feel free to follow me on twitter: @nb_baphomet. I need more MSR on my timeline.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my whack at some angst to start off this multi-chapter piece I'm working on. I'm hoping to have it mostly finished before school starts. Don't worry, fluff will come eventually, but I wanted to start off with something a bit outside of my comfort zone. I live for feedback, so anything and everything is appreciated! Thanks for reading!


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